He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
