So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
