ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was like getting head from an anaconda
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
