we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
