I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
