my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize