but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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