she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
