I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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