I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
