I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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