he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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