My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
