38 yer olds are good kisserssss
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
