He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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