I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
