I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
