What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
