yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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