I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
