i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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