I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
