I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My ass is underappreciated
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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