Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
