as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
