Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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