Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
