ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
