It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
