Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
