why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
