I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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