yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
