did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
