it was like his penis was on wheels.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
