You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
