That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
