Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
