it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
