Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
