I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
