well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
