absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
