Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
