So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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