Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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