I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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