He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
