How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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