He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
