this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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